Dear wife:

In my “real life” I am a business strategist and lead a national mastermind of driven women entrepreneurs.  We focus on marketing and sales, mainly… but there’s an uncelebrated truth that permeates the world of business:

Self-employment is a crash course in personal development. It will test you, stretch you, push you, challenge you far more than any other “career” choice. You see, in self-employment… You’re It! When you succeed, it’s because of you.  When you fail, it’s because of you.  When money is good, pat yourself on the back.  And when money is tight, well… it’s your fault.

But enough about all of that.  I work with dozens of physicians, dozens of attorneys, and countless other really powerful women in other fields.  A COMMON “ground zero” we have to get to as women business owners is this:

We are enough.
We are worthy of the success we seek.  

In this past week, I’ve been ever so grateful to have been raised by parents who brought me up never having to question whether or not I’m enough, whether or not I’m worthy,  or whether or not I could do this or that.  I’ve never had to fight that battle.  I grew up fully accepting — and never wrestling with —  my worth, in their eyes, in God’s eyes, in the world’s eyes and — of course — in my own.

The older I get, the more I realize how rare this is.  How critically important it is, not just in business, but in life… and in marriage.

You see, friend, you are enough.  You are worthy of the love you seek.  You are good enough.  You are smart enough.  You are kind enough.  You are accomplished enough.  You are EXACTLY enough.

If your parents didn’t drill this into you, I am sorry…  for you have grown up without an advantage that should have been your birthright… to know that YOU — as you are, right now, with all of your flaws, your failures, your secrets, and your fears — have ALWAYS been enough.

Don’t be so hard on your parents.  It is entirely probable that they — too — wrestled with worthiness and may still be wrestling this fundamental human issue…. which — again — is a birthright.  Don’t waste another minute looking backwards.   Because your birthright is still yours to claim.

And your marriage will shift the moment you KNOW that you KNOW that you KNOW that you are worthy. Worthy of happiness. Worthy of this man.  Worthy of a family.  Worthy of unconditional love.  Worthy of what you desire.

If you are reading this with tears in your eyes, because you know that your birthright (of KNOWING that you are enough) is still — yet — unclaimed… please consider that your husband can NEVER pick up this birthright on your behalf.  He can certainly affirm you, and he should.  He can certainly complement you, honor you, serve you, love you… and he should.

But until you settle it, in your own heart and soul, his actions will always fall short of making you feel worthy, loved, accepted.

Recognize your birthright for what it is — YOURS — and then embrace it.  Face tomorrow with a new confidence.  Kiss your husband with a quite assurance.  For you have ALWAYS been worthy, loved, accepted…. you have always been enough.  

xoxo,
Michelle