This week was a special one.  Michelle and I celebrated 16 years of marriage together, and I had the opportunity to “make up for” that blunder I had on Valentine’s Day.  But more about that later.  Time has really zoomed by even though I remember our wedding day like it was yesterday.  I am thankful to be married to such a special lady – and even more thankful that we have been able to be together this long.  I look forward to many more great years – so, thanks babe!

Our actual anniversary is on June 19, but we celebrated on Saturday night… one full day, one full night and no kids!  To say the least, we were really excited and had a great time!  My job was to plan this weekend.  Now, normally, I do a really good job with stuff like this, but earlier this year when given the opportunity to plan Valentine’s Day – I came up short to say the least. Of course, you already heard about that from Michelle in this recent post.

Husbands – get ready to learn from my HUGE mistake. First, we should come to grips with this simple truth before we start:   Our wives don’t just like the date – it means even more when we take the time to plan the date also.  Let’s face it, our wives are like the cruise directors of our homes.  They plan A LOT.  So, a date that they don’t have to plan is a gift in and of itself.   

Alright, so here’s my version of Valentines Day 2015 – It was a day that started like any other.  Only, I was assigned with the task of planning this day.  It would be the first time in years that we were actually able to go out on Valentines Day itself.  Usually we are relegated to celebrating Valentine’s Day a week before or after because – you guessed it – everyone else was celebrating themselves and we had no sitter.  But not his year.

Because we hadn’t gone out on Valentine’s Day in so long, I had totally forgotten about how hard it was to find a reservation at a nice restaurant.  And this time we not only had the babysitters, finances weren’t going to be a concern.  We were free to have a really nice night.

So, around 3:00 (that’s 3:00 PM) on February 14th, I placed my first call to a nice Italian restaurant and asked if they had any reservations available.  The host said, “You mean for tonight – Valentine’s Day – then he laughed as he said no.  “That’s ok,” I thought – “I don’t really like that place anyway.”

So I called the next place, another nice restaurant.  A little better luck this time – they had a reservation available – at 10:30 pm.  This wasn’t going to work.  While this is happening, my wife is sitting in a chair watching me – not wanting to believe that I actually waited until 3:00 on Valentine’s Day to make a reservation for that same night.

The next call I made was symbolic of what was actually happening.  I called Carrabba’s – a nice restaurant yes – but not what we were looking for that night – and I knew it.  You guessed it– we couldn’t get in there either.

I looked at my wife and immediately realized that I had really messed up.  The look on her face was a mixture of disbelief, hurt, and disgust. This was not going well.  This wasn’t about the money we were going to spend or the specific restaurant or any of that.  It was about me not taking the time to plan ahead of time for a special evening – especially when it was in my power to do so.

My wife starting crying – and it was totally genuine.  She is a really tough lady so I knew that she was so incredibly hurt.  I felt like a jerk.

By an act of God, we were able to snag a reservation at Carrabba’s online because of a cancellation.  We went and wound up having a great dinner and experience.  We ate outside in a covered and heated area with howling winds just outside.  We were served by a fantastic waiter.  We came home to a quiet house – which is rare – and we had a great night by the fire.

So in the end, the night turned out nice, but only because my wife is such a good sport.  She decided to give me a lot of grace – which by definition I didn’t deserve.  This week the same mistake wasn’t made.  I learned my lesson.  And husbands out there, I hope you do too.

Our wives love to go on dates. It makes them feel special.  But if they do all the planning – it kind of takes some of the “special” out of it… if that makes sense.   They do enough planning already.

So husbands,  plan something special for your wife.  It doesn’t have to cost anything – just get creative.  Wives, receive earnest effort with love and grace – you know when we put in the effort.  It feels good to us when you acknowledge that.

Also, how is your reflection going? We discussed this on my last post.  Is it bringing back some lost feelings, some great memories?  I hope so. Until next time – keep fighting the good fight. Our marriages are worth it.