16 years has seen us battle several common marriage busters… 3 kids, 2 1/2 sets of in-laws, a biological father to our oldest daughter, financial disasters from which we’ve needed rescuing, a quarter-life crisis, career changes, school changes, depression, teenagers, pre-teens, the constant care of an aging grandparent, and — well — just the angst of being so WILDLY different as partners.
We are not holding our marriage up as a model for yours. We’re simply sharing what has worked for us… and some of what we’re still battling. But here’s our story.
Virginia Tech, 1994 Freshman Year
We had biology lab together. He had a girlfriend. I had a boyfriend. And he looked like a little boy. Zero interest.
Virginia Tech, 1996 Junior Year
It was the first day of human anatomy and some crazy hot, super built man walked up to me. He said his name was Chris Pippin, to which I thought, NO FRIGGIN WAY. The boy had grown up. I suggested we get together and study some time. 100% interest. When he came over to study, I made him a lobster dinner. He didn’t get it. I told my Mom I met the man I was gonna marry. She asked if he’d kissed me yet and if he knew we were getting married. No, not yet — on either front. January 12, 1997 I decided that if he didn’t kiss me that night, I’d ask his friends if there was something wrong with him. He kissed me. And more. I was smitten. Every other man on campus faded into the background of Tech’s campus.
Chesapeake, VA 1998
We get engaged. He’s still in school. I’m working my first — and only — real job. We decide to complicate things and build a house while planning for a wedding and also meeting Summer Lauryn Woolard, “our” oldest. Summer is the child we share with my brother. I am — and have always been — Mom. Chris is “uncle.” My brother is “Dad.” It’s unconventional, but we’ve made it work. Summer has always been headstrong, determined and bright. She’s STILL an early riser, and dislikes having down time. She kept — and keeps — us hopping. We NEVER laid her down and let her “cry it out.”
Chesapeake, VA 1999
We tie the knot. Summer is our “Infant of Honor.” My Dad and Chris’ Mom cry their eyes out. I’m sure it was out of sheer joy. =) It was a precious wedding and I wouldn’t change anything about it. We went to the Bahamas on our honeymoon and picked up Summer on our way home from the airport. Our new neighbors remarked about how “fast” we were moving. lol… They had no idea.
Moyock, NC 2000
Welcome Shelbey Seree. Summer was in bed “helping me” up until we left for the midwifery center. We opted for a water birth and came home about 8 hours later. I now had one child that grew in my heart and another that grew in my womb. I was overcome with gratitude. In church, the tears flow every time I hear the song lyrics, “I sing for joy at the work of Your hands. Forever I’ll love you, forever I’ll stand. Nothing compares to the promise I have in You.” Shelbey was the opposite of Summer in many ways. She LOVED sleeping in and still loves her down time. She was super smart and only later would I realize that Chris and I were always about 3 months behind her in terms of development. This meant she got away with a lot. We laid her down to let her “cry it out” but huddled together at the end of the hallway until she went to sleep, continuously asking, “Do you think we should pick her up?”
I forgot to say that at this point, I’d also decided that I’d somehow “make money from home.” My entrepreneurial journey began. My Mister thinks it’s temporary. He looks forward to the day when all of the kids are in school and I “go back to work.” I replace my previous income in one year — without sitters — all while working MY way. I am officially unemployable.
Moyock, NC 2002
Welcome CJ Pippin. (Chris Jr.) Born 9 pounds, 2 ounces. Another water birth. Summer and Shelbey both love him so. He’s the happiest baby on earth. He grins constantly. Momma is SUPER busy… with work and with the girls. CJ doesn’t say ANY WORDS until he is WELL into age 3. While at a check up one day, the doc begins asking CJ questions with one word answers. EVERY TIME he asks CJ a question, the girls answer for him on his behalf. THEY are his caretakers, his protectors. The doctor informs me that CJ isn’t speaking because he has NO NEED to speak as long as “these girls” were around. The girls are pissed whenever I try to make CJ say a word. CJ begins speaking when he’s almost 4… in full sentences, with perfect clarity, as if he’d been doing it all along. We put CJ down at bedtime and never looked back. We don’t know if he “cried it out” or not. Kid #3 is lucky to survive.
Chris goes back to school to get his Master’s Degree in 2002. To stave off the dismal reality of MORE student loans, we pay for this one as we go. Oh yeah — and he has a vasectomy. We’re done. There will be no “quiver full” over here. 3 is our max.
Old Dominion University, 2004
Chris graduates with his Master’s Degree in Educational Leadership. He makes straight A’s all while working full time and being an AMAZING partner at home. Chris is at his absolute best when he has a LOT on his plate. He’s offered a job as an Assistant Principal and turns it down. He’s got three kids and a wife that want and need him at home. I love him for this decision. His school system black balls him because of it. The Principal he turned down in this scenario remembers him more than a decade later and talks of the HUGE respect he has for Chris.
Moyock, NC 2004
I decide to homeschool Summer, then Shelbey, then CJ. So much for Chris’ big dreams of me getting a “real” job. lol… I LOVE homeschooling. We “unschool” for another 4 years.
Chesapeake, VA 2008
Our kids go to school. A private school. Our home school journey is over. I grieve it. But it is time. CJ is only in 1st grade. I think he’s too young to be without me all day. But he survives. And so do I.
United States of America, 2009
I start traveling for my business and it starts getting REALLY fun. And really profitable. Life is good. The kids are growing, my business is growing, and we’re actively co-leading a marriage ministry at church. We’re at our best.
Moyock, NC 2010 – 2014
Life starts getting TOO busy. Teenagers invade our home. Monotony sets in with Chris’s career while mine takes off. (NOT a great combination.) The church we’re active in folds and with it — many marriages. Our church community is divided. We’re unchurched suddenly. We’re lacking community, accountability. Our marriage takes a hit. We’re no longer BUILDING it. We’re simply letting it maintain itself.
Moyock, NC 2015
We launch this blog… for couples determined to thrive. We’re actively building again. And it feels great. Chris gets super excited when he posts a blog. He tells the kids, “We’re changing lives and helping marriages.” I pray he’s right. I know our own marriage is better. Our own life changed. THIS is our new adventure.