I’ll never forget when Tiger Woods’ mistresses had their 5 minutes of shame. One bothered me FAR MORE than the rest. When asked about what sex was like with Tiger, she coyly said, “Well, it’s not like married sex, or anything.” Her emphasis on married sex was very much putting it down… way below the obviously mind blowing sex SHE was having. My response included the following:
- Ummm…. if sex with you was SO mind blowing, why did Tiger still “supplement” his sex life with So many other women? AND of course,
- Honey, you’ve never been married… So how in the BLEEP would you know what married sex is like?
Monogamy does NOT need to be synonymous with monotony.
Besides our kids, Chris and I have exactly TWO things in common… our sexual appetite and sexual “preferences.” For this, I am so eternally grateful! Still, sex is a huge issue in marriage. So, let’s talk about some fun ways to bust out of a rut in the bedroom:
Play… with some toys.
Toys are still fun… even more so as adults! Not every adult toy will be “your thing” but try them all! =) Mix it up, and have some fun. Using toys does not / SHOULD NOT signify to your spouse that she/he isn’t enough. They’re just a fun way to mix things up!
Talk about sex.
No sense in trying to pretend you don’t have fantasies… thoughts… things you’d like to try. Your spouse is NO mind reader. Give them a chance to succeed by telling them what you want… exactly. And, according to my Mom at least, “the marriage bed cannot be defiled.” So, run with your imagination… and DO TELL. (Not us. Him or her. PLEASE, please don’t tell us.) Even talking about sex can be fun and get things moving in the right direction. So, don’t hold back.
Quick note: you have NO IDEA how crazy sexy wild your spouse may be. So, when she / he reveals something to you they want to do / try, hold back on any “OMG!! YOU WANT TO DO WHAT?!” Often, our first time sharing something like this may NOT reveal all… so hold on to your hats, and prepare to shake things up!
Oral Sex Isn’t Optional. It’s Mandatory.
Am I offending you yet? That’s fine. Pull out your Bible and re-read Song of Solomon. It’s all in there, I promise. Well, it doesn’t necessarily say that oral sex is mandatory, but it does mention it and it should have been an 11th Commandment. =) So, you don’t like giving oral sex? Okay. Try it again. And again if necessary. This is a great way to serve your spouse. So, don’t skimp on it or avoid it all together. I think that’s all I’m gonna say on this topic. I think I’ve said enough. If you have questions, google it or ask around. lol…
Bottom line: Keep Him / Her Guessing.
Listen, there’s no reason to fall into a boring bedroom rut. There are way too many ways to spice things up. Make someone wear a blind fold. This will increase all other senses. Women, buy NEW lingerie… vary it up a bit. Do you normally go all victorian in this department? Opt for trashy next time. Or vice versa. Take it OUT of the bedroom. There ARE other places to get it on. So, explore some.
Sex is important and it is fun! Invest in this portion of your relationship… It pays huge dividends!